Banana Karma

People complain about the price of petrol. Fair enough - it's steep. Running out at about $1.65 in Maningrida today. But take bananas. Today it cost nearly $1000 to get two boxes of bananas out of Darwin. Now that's steep. I blame the government. We should be investing all available resources into generating banana alternatives. If they can make tofu bacon can a solution really be that far away?

I've deceided I hate Jetstar. Nothing really personal - they're just my least favourite airline. They're so brightly lit. It's like flying to Darwin in a 7/11. The seats are uncomfortable and don't really tilt back, and I didn't talk to single attendant the whole time I was flying. Not that I particularly wanted to - I just didn't see one. Generally shit - but they flew in on time. That'd be the last thing that happened on time for the next 24 hours...

John met me at the airport and we picked up where we left off - chatting away. So much has happened, yet so little has changed. Small town life is like that a lot. Different things are important. I could feel myself consciously shifting focus. Your center of attention comes down from your head and settles somewhere closer to your center of gravity. It's easier to do things from there. Everything seems to gather a momentum of its own. This is where people are leading from when they truly 'go with the flow' - that said, most 'flow-ers' are just lazy or stoned.

I mentioned focus. I must say, it's not easy to maintain mine while I type this. During dinner two buffalo walked into the yard. They're the Asian kind that pull ploughs in rice paddies. I was stoked - I mean, that's pretty fucking cool. They've been brought up in the community like pets. Placid as hell - still in no hurry to ride one. Anyway, just now a pack of camp-dogs have followed them into the backyard and are trying to kill them. Yep. Kill them. Snarling, barking, ripping, tearing. Charming. Camp-dogs are mangey, scabby, ravernous mutts that live around the community. They're everywhere. Travel in packs, like to intimidate people and chew the fleas on their arse - like police, really. Anyway, I'll ignore them. They'll probably be doing it all night anyway...

John and I arrived at the apartment only to meet a friend of his. Kamal, John would later explain to me, had a bit of an 'I'm-the-best-chuck-out-the-rest' attitude. I was just delighted that schoolyard inferences are slowly coming back in to vogue. He and Kamal sat up drinking. I bailed when I realised we'd be back on a plane in 3 hours or so. I slept under a sheet - I'm already loving the weather.

We got up on time and everything. Packed the taxi and swung by Woolworths to pick up a couple of boxes of bananas. There's a festival on in Maningrida this weekend. The health board thought it would be nice to get some bananas - expensive though they may be - and freeze them as a treat for the kids on the day. Great idea. And at $370 for the two boxes it was a lovely and generous gesture - like giving your seat up for a pregnant, disabled midget. But that was to be just the first of the unexpected expenses.

The cab was about $30 but the second we got to the airport we were told that the flight was closed and, though there was no lines or people waiting, half an hour was not time enough to make it on to our flight. Both being cheapskates, our tickets were not transferable. We'd have to book more for the afternoon... $500 later. So straight back in a cab ($20) to pick up the Kombi and out to breakfast ($25). Spend a few hours on the beach - tanning to perfection (priceless) and shortening our lives by decades (more of a blessing than anything). Back to the apartment, bananas in a cab to the airport ($20). Airlinecharges for excess baggage (i.e. bananas, additional $70), add lunch and a newspaper in the airport lounge ($25).

I peeled every one of those $1000 bananas this evening - pausing only breifly to shit my pants when i found a massive huntsman in the box. It reminded me what a big part of my life bananas had played in my life - before the cyclone, before the shortage, before the war on tropical fruit. I remember the smoothies, the splits, the loafs. I remember using bananas as replica side-arms in play with my siblings. I remember trying to sell a banana on e-bay as a replica side-arm and being dissappointed at the bidding war that ensued. I miss bananas... I'd buy a frozen one this weekend at the festival but they're going for about $8 a pop.

*The above is a made-up story about a made-up person called Ryan Coffey in a made-up place called the Northern Territory. Any resemblence to actual people, places or events is entirely coincidental. Even if it did actually happen, and it really really sounds true. Coincidence. I say this to ensure the ensure the integrity of all made-up persons and places therein.