Mah!

Aboriginals are often confused for being rude. They're occasionally confused for being Sidney Poitier, and on very odd occasions confused for being a streetsign or a packet of low-fat chips. This all comes from a certain degree of cultural misunderstanding. Aboriginals are from a largely tribal culture, into which an ethos of give-and-take is ingrained. It's said that in many Aboriginal languages there's no real words for 'please' and 'thankyou'. There's no need for them.

If you ask someone for something there's no reason to believe that they wouldn't willingly give it to you. Pleasantries are redundant - like an overhead projector at a school for the blind. Still, I've found most Aboriginals in Maningrida to be very well trained. They deliver genuine 'pleases and thanks' in all the right spots. But they've also introduced me to my new favourite word, commonly used in conversational English, that harks back to the good old days. That word is, very simply, 'Mah!'

Mah basically means 'OK, we're done here', and at the same time, so much more than that. Someone will ask you for something, and as soon as you get to the point that they understand that you can't help them they'll say 'Mah!' and leave the conversation without another word. It's the equivalent of throwing a hand in the air and saying, 'Whatever!' The first time it happened to me I thought I was in an Aboriginal Jerry Springer so I showed everybody my tits and hit some guy with a chair. What? You don't know me!

Mah is like a free ticket out. I don't like this conversation, 'Mah!' End of argument, 'Mah!' I'm off for a pint, 'Mah!' That's the beauty of it - it comes with no explanation. Mah is all the recipient needs to know. It can really mean any number of things. 'You bore me! NEXT!' "Actually, I just really don't want to help you." 'Love to chat, but gotta crap.' "You've disappointed me - a curse on your family and a plague in your pants." 'I'm due home for a wank and a sudoku.' It's all in the tone, and therein lie the prickly bits.

If you get Mah'd in a conversation you can spend the rest of the day wondering exactly what was meant by it. Do not underestimate it - a simple Mah can be venomous. I've heard Mahs that could give you a nipple cripple from forty paces. Mahs that could cut the brake lines on your four-wheel drive. Mahs that could paralyze the devil himself, which is bad news because there are no wheelchair ramps in hell. You be surprised just how inconsiderately designed Haedes is. I've written many letters to council but all council employees are on the books.

Mahs can also be friendly - a simple 'righto, see you later.' It comes in handy 'round a place like Maningrida. There's not much point saying formal goodbyes when it is highly likely it won’t be more than a few hours before you see any given person again. Anyway, I'm due home for a wank and a sudoku. I mean… Mah!